


Giving In

by mcgehee



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, One Shot, Teen Wolf season 3, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26682883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgehee/pseuds/mcgehee
Summary: What happened to Stiles while he was battling the Nogitsune that was trying to take over his mind? What was he feeling, thinking, enduring?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Giving In

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short text that I wrote while rewatching Teen Wolf Season 3. The storyline with the Nogitsune was so impressive to me and I was really feeling with Stiles that I had to put it into words somehow. I hope you like it (even though it's painful to see him hurting, I know ...)

Dark and darker the look in his eyes. A cloud drifting in front of the sunny brown surface on which memories and emotion used to grow. The boy with a bright smile and worry on his face. The boy who wanted to prove he was going to be okay; a wave of doubt a loyal companion in his mind - without him knowing, it had built a home in his soul, drawing dusty cobwebs deep inside his chest which, once touched with even the slightest brush, quivered and trembled through his being, questioning every oh so little pillar of certainty until they slowly started to crumble.

_When is a door not a door?_

_Everyone has it, but no one can lose it. What is it?_

A voice so faintly in his head that he might have mistaken it for a windy whisper if it hadn’t brought him all these sleepless nights. The constant humming of a question he didn’t even understand; a dare in this unfamiliar sound that he neither listened to nor answered. There was something darker at work in his mind and the truth? If being honest with himself, he didn’t want to uncover the origin of the mysterious longing that he lately so often felt in his chest. Perhaps a part of him had always known the truth to the secret he had unconsciously built inside of him. This part that felt like an intruder and a friend at the same time, like a comforting home and the edge off a cliff that silently called out his name.

_What is it, Stiles?_

Tired. He was so incredibly, all-consumingly tired and nothing tasted sweeter than the promise of sleep, of peace and quiet, of a place without the constant whispering and watching voices that knew him better than he seemed to know himself. The stranger invading is heart, picking the cobwebs, sowing doubts and pain into is mind, onto the clean, brown surface in his gaze. A gaze that concentrated kindness and love, combined selflessness and courage, knowledge and friendship - all deeply rooted in his heart. Everything that had belonged to him and him only was stolen from his grasp; grabbed and dragged into the shadows right under his nose ... The stranger had forced him to share, had forced him to open up, had whispered and whispered and whispered until his mind grew tired and his heart so heavy.

_When is a door not a door?_

And suddenly, he knew the answer. Clear and easy and so close ... he simply needed to reach out and

_(open the door)_

grasp it, clutch it, hold onto it for a minute and the whispering would stop. If he left the door open, left it ajar, the stranger could breathe and he would’ve earned his eagerly awaited peace and silence.

_Everyone has it, but no one can lose it. What is it?_

Another riddle? Another puzzle to solve? Why was it so simple all of a sudden to give in, to give all this turmoil a rest? Sleep, I need sleep, he thought with heavy lids.

_What is it, Stiles?_

What if I just ... what if I just close my eyes for a while and give up the wheel? The stranger offered him a way out, the stranger offered him the answer with a sharp smile and a gazeless face. He was a loyal companion indeed, always on his heels and on his mind like a spotless dome.

I know the answer. I know what I can never lose but what I’ll always have, what I’ll always possess - if I just give up control for a while, I can close my eyes and get some rest, get some thick, painless sleep.

_What is it, Stiles?_

A shadow _._ I can never lose my shadow because it is a part of me.


End file.
